In fear of exposure: how LGBT teenagers live in Estonia and Russia

Daria Boger, Artem Belkov

In the modern world, not everyone is ready to accept the fact that gay people are normal. Often, representatives of the LGBT community suffer from harsh statements in their direction, therefore they lead a rather secretive lifestyle.


In Estonia, representatives of the LGBT community have broad civil rights, including the right to hold demonstrations. Tallinn hosts a large Baltic Gay Pride Parade every three years, with thousands of participants, although the movement to defend the rights of sex minorities is not limited to this.

In Russia, according to Ivan, the rights of the LGBT community for demonstrations are regularly violated: the city administrations do not approve the holding of such rallies, and the police disperse people who have come to the event. This became one of the reasons for the minimal involvement of representatives of the LGBT community and their sympathizers in the parades.

That is why Moscow schoolchildren usually do not even consider the option of participating in such actions, fearing police violence and other consequences.

Ilya from Tallinn does not participate in parades, but supports them: “I am not so open [ to participate in such actions - approx. ed. ] ".

The attitude of classmates

Both Ivan from Moscow and Ilya from Tallinn carefully share information about their unconventional orientation with those around them, so they almost never encounter negativity from classmates.

“First of all, I told those with whom I managed to communicate and whom I trust at least a little. They take it absolutely calmly. They have no ill will, ”says a resident of the Estonian capital.

Discrimination at the state level

Ilya did not face open discrimination at the state level, but he is strained by the statements of some public figures: “Sometimes the statements of politicians about the upcoming referendum sound extremely bitchy. Just like I often hear somewhere in Russian news. "

Ivan from Moscow believes that all the problems of LGBT communities in Russia are due to the state, Putin's power: “One of our problems is the Law on the Prohibition of LGBT Propaganda. People take it too seriously, take anything as propaganda. And the law itself is not needed - it is harmful. "

At the same time, Ivan believes that with the change of power, the LGBT community will acquire much more rights: "After Putin leaves, it will become easier."

Condemnation

Both young men agreed that, as a rule, they did not share their secret with anyone. They carefully approach who exactly they tell the truth, thereby avoiding negativity and condemnation. According to the Tallinn resident, he has to be extremely careful and it is difficult for him, but at the same time it cannot be said that he is panicky afraid of condemnation.

“I feel that in a dark alley there might be someone unfriendly and say something unpleasant,” Ivan from Moscow shared his feelings.

Relations with parents

It is extremely important for every child to accept his or her characteristics in the family. A person is not a property, but, first of all, a person, and family members should understand this. Loving parents will accept their child as he is.

A teenager from Moscow says that he cannot muster the courage to tell his parents about everything, but he is almost sure that his mother will take it normally. For him, the upcoming conversation with his mother is of great importance. “You need to collect your thoughts, gain courage, breathe in and tell everything,” Ivan commented.

Ilya's parents are already aware of their son's orientation, but alas, they did not learn about this from him. “They found out for themselves, it happened by chance,” added the teenager, without delving into this topic.

“Mom, it seems to me, takes it calmly. Dad just hushed up this topic and never touched on it again, ”Ilya continued.

Social support

A young man from Estonia says that among his friends there are people who support him and there are a lot of them. “Absolutely all of my friends are a source of support,” he notes.

The guy from Russia says a little different. Yes, there are people among those close to him who support him and are completely calm about his orientation. He does not feel disgust with himself, but he does not like the fact that people who are ready to accept his orientation speak about her with some peculiarity.

Migration

A resident of Tallinn dreams of leaving the country, because he believes that conditions in Estonia are still not ideal. The guy admits that he is afraid to commit any actions on the street that might declassify him. He speaks of maximum caution and secrecy: “If I lived in less tolerant countries, then I think I would have much more problems with accepting my orientation. I would really be afraid of every step. At the moment I can say that I am very limited in how I dress, how I look. "

Ivan hopes that the problem is far from the people, but the government, and that after the departure of the current President Vladimir Putin, the situation in Russia will return to normal. The young man would not want to leave his homeland, since in Russia, despite the disadvantages, he can calmly lead a full life.



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