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We're encouraged to believe that some straight women start planning their dream wedding in childhood, but growing up gay, I never shared that aspiration, largely because it simply wasn't an option. In the past, being gay came with different baggage—being disowned by your family, the threat of violence, having to endure performances by erstwhile Jonas Brothers at each and every pride—but it also allowed freedom from the tyranny of prescriptive milestones.

You weren't on the shelf if you were unmarried at 40, you were just gay. I'm the last generation for who equal marriage wasn't a given, which is great. It's just sometimes the idea of having my boyfriend euphemistically referred to as "Joe's friend" by elderly relatives feels like a small price to pay, compared with the constant barrage of "When are you going to get married and will you be wearing matching white suits?" Read more via GQ