cwick (Chadwick Matlin, features editor): Esteemed colleagues! We’ve gathered here to discuss what we’ve learned from our exploration of sex education over the past few days. First we discussed what we know about whether sex ed “works,” and whether certain kinds work better than others. Then we explored what to do about the parts of sex ed that aren’t about intercourse, especially as kids are going through puberty earlier than they did in the past.
But to pull back the curtain a bit … We had planned a lot more! And then we ran into all sorts of issues about what we know and don’t know about sex ed, and we’re here to discuss some of that.
So let’s take a step back. The country has been fighting about sex ed for decades. But when we fight about sex ed, what are we fighting about?
maggiekb (Maggie Koerth-Baker, senior science writer): What aren’t we fighting about? It covers gender roles, religion, politics, morality, social status, racism …
christie (Christie Aschwanden, lead science writer): I’d say that a lot of the arguing is really about how we should think about sex.
cwick: Isn’t it also about more than how? When should kids think about sex? What should kids think about it? Why should kids think about it?
maggiekb: Turns out that the way we talk and think about sex is a proxy for a bunch of other stuff in society. Who knew? (Other than, like, every sociologist who ever studied sex in American society.)
anna (Anna Maria Barry-Jester, lead health writer): Which is weird partly because we probably have the most sexualized media on the planet.
Try though we might, we can’t really get away with not dealing with sex ed, because kids are going to learn about sex one way or another, probably at ages much younger than most parents and teachers are comfortable with.
cwick: Reminds me of the idea that movies with sex get R and NC-17 ratings more easily than movies with violence. Puritanism Dies Hard! (A PG-13 movie starring Bruce Willis, coming soon to a theater near you.)
maggiekb: As the parent of a 4- and 3-year-old who has had to answer questions about where babies come from while merging into rush-hour interstate traffic: Can confirm.
christie: So what’s your approach Maggie?
anna: And was it informed by all your recent research on evidence-based sex ed!?
maggiekb: It mostly revolves around tamping down my anxiety and only answering the exact question I was asked. So when I am asked, “Where do babies come from,” I don’t launch into, “OMG I GUESS WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT INTERCOURSE NOW.”
Instead, it’s been this kind of slow progression, sort of backward up the reproductive tract.
My girls did, though, finally happen to ask, “How did the information from dad get inside you?” while I was driving and trying to merge. That was exciting.
cwick: Really trying hard not to follow that “information” comment with a message that will get me fired.
christie: 😜
maggiekb: Same, Chad.
anna: ➕
maggiekb: Or divorced.
christie: But sex ed isn’t just about sex. It’s also about bodies and how they function and move and touch and boundaries, right?
anna: Yeah, that was one thing that was really striking in the reporting — the missed opportunities that have resulted from the political complexities of sex ed. Sex ed is sexuality education, not sex education, in the eyes of sexuality educators. There’s a lot that goes into sexuality that has nothing to do with sex.
maggiekb: Right, Christie and Anna. And it’s also about relationships and setting boundaries and establishing personal confidence necessary to protect yourself. It has been WAY more awkward for me to try to have conversations with the girls about consent and “hey, you know it’s not OK for somebody to touch your vulva, right?” than to tell them what a vulva is and how it works.
anna: So, Maggie, that makes me wonder — a lot of sex educators I spoke to talked about how parents want basic information taught in school. A conversation I had with Elizabeth Schroeder, who has written or worked on many national sex ed curriculums, was really striking to me. Read more via FiveThirtySix