I was born with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome, an intersex trait that wasn’t discovered until I was a teenager. I’m externally female, meaning I was born with a vagina, so my parents had no reason or way to know that I was intersex. I was a teenager when doctors discovered, because of an unrelated event, that I had XY chromosomes, internal testes, and a blind-ended vaginal pouch.

When doctors told my parents I was intersex, they also instructed them to withhold the diagnosis from me in order to protect the development of my gender identity. My parents went along with the doctor’s recommendation, and a few years after my diagnosis, when doctors determined my breasts were sufficiently developed and I was of a reasonable height for a woman, my testes were surgically removed. At the time of the surgery, I didn’t know that the surgeon was removing my testes, because I didn’t even know I had them.

Given my experience as an intersex person, activist, and sociologist who studies intersex, I offer below a list of five things I hope you do for your intersex child. Read more via The Parents Project