If you think sober sex is boring, it’s more down to you than the lack of stimulants

‘I’m supposed to rim a guy sober?’

The thought popped into my head quite unexpectedly after I’d been clean a few days. My first few days of sobriety had been spent dealing with a whole tsunami of previously anesthetized emotions and navigating away from cravings.

Thoughts about sex had, in my case, been low down the priority list of things to get anxious about.

I was in my mid-30s. I had been drinking heavily since my mid-20s. I told myself I’d cut back when I hit 30, but it didn’t happen. In fact, it got worse. After a series of rock bottoms scenarios that I won’t bore/shock you with here, I realized drastic action was necessary. I had to stop.

So I did, with help from a recovery program. No more alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.

‘I couldn’t really remember the last time I’d had sex whilst sober’

That’s when I realized that I hadn’t actually had sober sex for some time. In fact, I couldn’t really remember the last time I’d had sex whilst sober.

Sure, there was the occasional morning fumble with a boyfriend, but given how much I had drunk the night before, I’m sure I was still probably over the limit.

As part of GSN’s series of articles on gay men and drugs, experts have spoken about how some gay men, after getting used to having sex while high, find it hard to contemplate having sex without drugs. They fear that sex won’t possibly be as good.

Or at least as good as it was in their mind. Others say sex on crystal is actually quite boring: hours of fumbling and rubbing up against other guys. Read more via Gay Star News